at the beginning.

i've been wanting to blog for years. ok maybe not years, but i'm Lebanese, i exaggerate. its in my dna and generational legacy.

i was encouraged to actually start (blogging, are you still following?) by a group of women i met while on a baby-hugging trip in Haiti. that turned out to be a God-meeting, prayer building, identity fixing trip. but everyone has been blogging about that so i will hold off for now.
having made that decision, it probably means i will be randomly posting about Haiti as thoughts and prayers fly in my heart. im not really a decision following kind of person. but im asking God to change my heart.

first post written 2 days after being back home.... (wait, am i home, are the States home? is the hospital home? but then when i talk about my mom, i say she is back home, i.e in Lebanon, Leb for the Initiates).

donc.... 2 days after being back home, sitting in pulmonary clinic waiting for patients whose charts have been looked up yesterday to not waste time (a regular demonstration of my OCD)

Joking around with acquaintances who know nothing of the world or the God I just met (or maybe i'm judging them to be like that, i mean, do i really reflect the God of love in my life?) 

sitting in pulmonary clinic, thinking about Haiti , praying to not loose sight of the Jesus i had my first date with after a prolonged long-distance relationship.

also planning the path to the previous level of fitness i was at before leaving. kicking myself for not maintaining the resolution not to binge on the remaining cliff bars and cereal bars from the trip. (i usually don't buy cereal bars - so i wouldn't eat them- duh. )so i have to taste every single one not to miss an exceptional opportunity : prelude on my relationship with food)

 

the degree of fitness has decreased by 50% in 10 days.

no numbers (in miles or minute) since i still can't live up to full disclosure and honesty. i like to pretend Jesus doesn't know. in this case it's ok that He does since He will not be making fun of my diminished VO2max. he would tell me to press on and that He's standing by the treadmill, ready to activate the emergency response system should my historical clumsiness slide off of the treadmill.

since while running, i'm following some dumb reality tv show that i didnt know existed because i don't have cable,(the purpose being not to watch dumb  tv shows, remember?). with the advent of hulu, that resolution pretty much died off.
 

anyway, what i meant to say, is that i ignore Jesus standing by the treadmill and get mad about how people might make fun of my minute by minute running victories. (approval idol anyone??)

i believe  this flight of ideas perfectly preflects my general brain of mind. and the vision for this blog but then again, I don't know where God will take it, and take me..

ps. this paragraph was posted multiple days after la redaction.  another case of inglorious procrastination